What It Means To Be
by LoveAnimeForever
Summary: ONESHOT - The Turks and their Chairman - Just what does it mean, to be...? To be feared and hated, and always hidden in the shadows? To be loud, or quiet, or naive, or mysterious, or to /want/ to be infallible, and then not for yourself?


**What It Means To Be…**

By LoveAnimeForever

* * *

_01: Reno_

The first thing about Reno is his hair. It's red – not deep maroon or smooth red-brown, but harsh red, a few shades shy of vermillion. And that's just like him, isn't it? Cocky bastard that he is? And he likes to say that it's a few shades lighter than blood, but despite his occupation and what he would have people think – and, of course, the bouts of sadism Rude silently accuses him of from behind those tinted glasses – he's got quite the soft spot for his colleagues. And the Turks know this, naturally. _All_ the Turks, not just his burly partner, and even including the Chairman they'd sworn their lives to. No matter how loud-mouthed and rash and outright _stupid_ he sometimes is, he's a good second-in-command, and sometimes when Tseng is in a good mood, he thinks: maybe Reno _was _the best choice for the position. And so everyone who owns a navy suit – or an albino one – knows they can count on Reno to have their backs; and the one with the red hair knows he would give his life for his comrades, just as they would for him.

_02: Rude_

Unlike his partner, and except for his hulking mass, Rude barely gets noticed. He's too quiet for that – and maybe he prefers it this way, letting the one with the slender, lithe body and the dirty, overly-large mouth do the talking. That's not to say Reno is weak – far from it – but that's just why they're partners. Rude is the silent, steady rock that convinces Tseng and the Chairman that he and his partner can actually get things done; and they do. Even despite that thing he had for Tifa… And what _was_ that, really? A slip of judgment? He's long over it, by now, of course, and he's sure he'll never betray his comrades again, even if they keep reassuring him – each in their own unique way – that he never did in the first place. And he thinks, as Reno punches him in the shoulder, or Elena hugs him a little awkwardly, or Tseng nods approvingly, or the Chairman levels a cocky smile at him, that the Turks aren't such bad people, after all. And then Reno breaks his glasses again, and there's nowhere to hide the warmth he feels for these people, and he sighs resignedly as he pulls his backup pair from his chest pocket.

_03: Elena_

Most of the time, the Turks wonder how Elena is one of them at all. For one, she's naïve – even more so than some of the _children_ in the Midgar slums – and for two, she's delicate. Less so than many ladies, of course, but in comparison to her male colleagues, well. Tseng hadn't even really wanted to take her in as a Turk – he hadn't wanted to risk letting the Chairman down, after all – but Reno had convinced him otherwise, and the Turks have never looked back since. In fact, they're all – including the Chairman –proud of her; all like brothers proud of how much their youngest sister's grown up… And she tries, of course, she tries _so hard_ to live up to their expectations. So they deal with the blonde's blunders, and her overly-earnest diligence, and her caring streak, as they come, with more tolerance than they thought they'd had, and slowly but surely Elena is learning, and really, she's become quite the Turk, herself. Just like the rest of them, loyal to the death and with just that little bit of blossoming cunning.

_04: Tseng_

It's hard being the first in command. It's also hard being the Chairman's right- _and_ left-hand man. And then Tseng still has to be the sneaky, cold, bastard his Turks have gotten used to and actually take as their _role model_; not to mention he has to keep his gunmanship sharp. But it's worth the pain and the effort, and the late nights and the _migraines_, just to see his boss and his subordinates safe – and, dare he even _think_ it, _happy_. They don't know it, of course, but the one who makes sure the fridge is always stocked with beer just when Reno feels like getting wasted, the one who masters the materia so the others never have to suffer the tedium? He prefers it this way, so it's alright they don't notice. They _do_ know, however, that Tseng likes to disappear at night, and that even the Chairman can't get away with getting on his bad side, and that's important, too, because that's all they need to know. Because that's just enough to make him unique to them, irreplaceable, a fixture – an actual _person_, unlike the faceless troops they command – in their lives; and if that fixture is a ruthless bastard, if their loyalty is to his dark, mysterious, nature, well, that's just how he wants it.

* * *

_05: A Turk_

The people fear them, hate them. And not just because they're part of Shinra, but because they're _them_. Sneaking about the shadows – no, prowling. Stalking. With guns, and an instinct to kill, as well as the license. The loud redhead with the penchant for alcohol and his sadistic streak, always with warning enough just before his electric baton gets you right in the spine. The quiet one, behind his sunglasses, big enough and strong enough to crush your arm – or your head – with a single fist. The pretty blonde, and if you were the mouse to her cat, you considered yourself lucky, because she hesitates, sometimes. _If_ you beg hard enough. Or, on the other hand, if it's the Wutaian on your tail, then you won't even know he's following you until you're dead.

…And then, there are the nights when the Turks suddenly disappear. Instead, the devil himself takes over, so his navy-suited demons can rest, and that… That's the _worst_ –

* * *

_06: Rufus Shinra_

Sometimes… Sometimes. _Sometimes_, even Rufus has his moments of weakness. He tries not to let his Turks see it, of course – it's crucial to them, and he knows this, though they've never said it out loud, that the _one man_ they respect more than each other must be infallible. So he tries, really, he does. But it's a heavy load, the unadulterated loyalty and obedience, and he can't help but doubt himself every now and then. Occasionally.

After all, these are master fighters, and they don't _need_ him around – they just _want_ him around. And even that might be wishful thinking. Does he deserve to command these powerful creatures? If he's going to throw their lives away – no doubt they'll die for him _someday_ – will it be for something worthwhile? Will it be on something he _knows_ no one but the Turks can accomplish? And when (because there's no "if", when it comes to these people) they realise it's going to cost them their lives, will they still stand by him? And then, will it be out of duty, or because they actually count him as one of their own?

He tries to prove himself to them, sometimes. Like when he gives them their breaks, and sends them to Wutai for a holiday; then, he takes over their duties, and they come back to a Midgar still in order, still in the palm of his hands (sometimes bloodied, sometimes not). He's as strong as any of them are – maybe, Elena likes to say, but then you can't trust Elena's kind words, even _stronger_ than them – and so the Midgar he rules over knows to fear him as much as his Turks. In fact, white may scare them more than black does, nowadays.

But that barely matters now, when he's behind his desk, with his four Turks arrayed about the room – Reno splayed across the couch, Rude by the door, Elena sitting attentively in a chair and Tseng standing protectively behind him. He's here, and they're here, and these are dangerous times, so he has to make the right choices, and he has to be sure, and strong enough that these _warriors_ can rely on _him_ for _strength_. So it all boils down to this: is he doing his job well enough?

And then he feels Tseng's hand on his shoulder, firm from the handles of a thousand guns, and he thinks –

Of _course_ he's doing his job well enough. He's Rufus Shinra.


End file.
